At 22 years old, I didn’t care if I lived or died. The sexual and physical abuse that I experienced as a child and in my teenage years had eaten away at my spirit.

I had no idea what to do with all the pain except numb it with drugs and alcohol, as I knew nothing about casting my cares upon God (1 Peter 5:7). As a result, I suffocated daily under a weight of agonizing addiction.

My lifestyle became a self-destructive downward spiral until, at 27, I bowed my heart in faith and asked Jesus to save me. At that moment, the healing power of Christ entered my broken existence and began a work of healing and transformation within my heart that He continues to this day. 

It is only by the power and grace of God that I have been able to overcome the pain of my childhood abuse. I’d like to share what helped me.

I had to understand my true identity in Jesus. For years, I’d believed I was broken and damaged beyond repair. The things that had happened to me had left me with much shame. Discovering that I was loved, treasured, and accepted by God changed how I saw myself and my future.

I had to realize that pain didn’t disqualify me from being used by God, nor did it mean that God didn’t love me. Story after story in the Bible reveals that our pain can be the very soil in which God’s grace grows.

For example, Joseph was betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, and unjustly locked in a prison. Still, God used him to save a nation. (See Genesis 37–50.)

Job experienced a horrific physical ailment, and lost his children and nearly every­thing he owned. But because of his faith in God and his prayer for others, “the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning” (Job 42:12 NLT).

King David was taunted by his enemies (Psalm 13). But God established out of him an eternal kingdom. Even Jesus “was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief” (Isaiah 53:3 NLT).

These stories show that pain and rejection do not disqualify any of us from God’s plan. The Lord can use everything in our lives for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

Acknowledging my pain to God and others was essential for my healing. For years, I had stuffed my pain, refusing to confront it. It was not until after I had pastored for over 15 years that I began to follow the Holy Spirit’s prompting to share my experiences.

It wasn’t easy, but Psalm 142:2 revealed that confession of pain was something that even God’s greats had to do. King David poured out his complaints and troubles before God. I followed his example, honestly confessing my pain through prayer, journaling, and sharing my testimony with others. Confession helped me process all that pain.  

Finally, I had to forgive my offender. For years, my unhealed trauma anchored me to resentment of my offender. Not until I released that person could I begin to heal. Please know, forgiveness did not excuse the wrong, but it did release me from being chained to it.

Jesus modeled forgiveness while hanging on the cross, saying, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34 NLT). Forgiveness is not forgetting; it’s trusting God to handle justice.

Yes, past trauma can impact our stories. But no trauma has the power to define our future.

In Christ, there is always hope for healing and a purpose-filled present life and future. God is the ultimate restorer, able to transform your past despair into a beautiful display of hope. 

Put your trauma in His hands and let your redemption story begin.

Consider: Does your pain define you more than God’s love does? What part of your story do you need to bring to God instead of burying it? Who do you need to forgive so you can find freedom and healing?

MICHAEL DIXON surrendered to God after childhood trauma and addiction nearly destroyed him. Changed by God, Michael became a pastor, author, licensed addiction specialist, and director of his nonprofit, L.I.F.E. (Living in Freedom Everyday) Ministries. His bilingual curriculum, L.I.F.E. Ministries, helps others find wholeness and freedom in Christ Jesus and can be purchased on Amazon. Videos can be viewed by the incarcerated on Edovo and through VL’s platform on Pando.