In my second year of marriage, I experienced an unexpected storm that robbed me of my peace and joy. Tom and I had met in April 2018 and were married three months later. We’d each had long, beautiful marriages to our previous spouses before we lost them to sickness.
We didn’t know each other very well yet, but we felt the Lord had brought us together. We quickly realized, however, that starting a second marriage as senior adults wasn’t as easy as we’d imagined.
By late summer of 2020, Tom and I separated, and I moved back home. My heart was full of resentment and bitterness toward Tom, and I hated feeling these emotions. As a Christ-follower, I knew they weren’t what God desired for me. I repented repeatedly and tried not to allow them to control me again. But those layers of deep resentment mocked me.
I was experiencing tremendous emotional pain. I was 69 years old and felt helpless. Thankfully, this dark season led me to draw close to my heavenly Father. He lovingly cared for me and assured me healing would come. Still, I longed to be free of this deep wound in my soul.
During our separation, the Lord often prompted me to call Tom. I didn’t want to call him, though, as he might think I wanted to come back to him. Then I felt the Lord urging me to invite Tom over for dinner. “What?! Please, Lord, don’t ask me to do that!” But the Lord persisted.
I finally humbled myself and reached out to Tom by text. I was hoping he would decline my invitation so I could be off the hook, but he didn’t. It wasn’t an easy evening for me. I had so much pride lurking in my heart.
One day, I was unpacking some jewelry when I discovered that my gold herringbone necklace was a tangled mess. The links were twisted, and the chain felt like sharp edges of broken glass.
I tried to remove the kinks by holding each end of the necklace and stretching it. It didn’t work. Then I tapped the kinked links on my dresser. To my shock, the necklace fell smoothly into place!
I asked God about that necklace, and He showed me that, just as my chain had gotten twisted in the move, my soul was tangled too. And the kinks of my soul were sharp and rigid like the chain.
I knew I needed to remain in faith and trust God’s Word so His Living Water could take me to a healthier place and untangle the deep hurt of my soul. I needed to replace my bitter thoughts with God’s promises so His healing power could work in my life.
I made it a practice each morning to verbally clothe myself in God’s Word as I physically dressed. Often, I claimed the power of Colossians 3:12–14 as I prayed, “Lord, I am clothing myself with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. I choose to make allowance for Tom’s faults and forgive any offense as You have forgiven me. I will clothe myself with love and trust it to bind us together in harmony.”
Soon, I saw evidence of God working out the kinks of our relationship. By the fall of 2020, the Lord had reconciled our marriage. We didn’t have everything figured out, but we were committed to loving and respecting one another and letting God change us. Since then, we have enjoyed our life together, as the Lord had planned.
Perhaps today, your situation seems hopeless. Call on the Lord Jesus before bitterness takes hold of you. Surrender your situation to God and permit Him to change you.
The Holy Spirit will give you a teachable and humble heart as you devour God’s Word and speak His powerful promises into your life. Further, as you obey His kind leading, the Lord will bring healing to your soul and situation too.
Pray with me: “Father, forgive me for any hidden offenses that are giving ground to the devil. Reveal them to me. Now, in the name of Jesus, I sever from my soul every menacing spirit of pride, unbelief, and stubbornness. I denounce the painful memories that are keeping me in bondage. I cut off any spirit of rejection and anger from their place of habitation in my soul. Instead, I choose to clothe myself with Your peace, tender-hearted mercy, kindness, love, and humility. God, help me to forgive others as You have forgiven me.”