There are many roads a person can take. Some lead to life, while others lead to death. Our choices, good or bad, have consequences, no matter who we are.
I am grateful that my God doesn’t wipe His hands of us when we choose destructive roads. He never gives up on His children, leaving us to figure out our lives. No, our heavenly Father journeys with us down the most difficult roads and lovingly leads us to where He wants us to be. At all times, He is fully with us in our consequences.
Never would I have imagined as a kid that I would become a drug addict and a murderer. Hurting myself and others and living 20 years behind bars was not on my radar. But neither was becoming a pastor and helping others, which is what I do now. God knew all of this, though. And He loved me through it all, every step of the way (Romans 5:8).
My two younger sisters and I were raised by both our parents. Life was “normal,” and our home was peaceful. Or at least it was until Dad cheated on Mom and became a heavy drinker. Then our house became an upside-down place of arguing and fighting. When I was 14, my parents divorced, and Dad left.
Our family was torn apart by Dad’s actions—as was my heart. I carried the weight of my family’s brokenness for years.
I was not an average kid. By seventh grade, I was 6’3” and as awkward and clumsy as they come. Other kids enjoyed picking on me. But something good came out of all that height—basketball.
Coach Don took great interest in me, teaching me the game and sending me to camps where I learned to use my height as an advantage. I excelled as a player and was told I had a future in the sport.
With my family unit dismantled, however, I was pretty much left to myself. At 13, I discovered marijuana. I enjoyed getting high after school, drinking, and getting into other trouble.
Then, junior year, my friend and I went to school drunk. That got me kicked out of school and off the team. My world crumbled. Basketball was my life.
I straightened up long enough to graduate from high school and get into Central Wesleyan College on a basketball scholarship. I played successfully until, again, my junior year, when I made another foolish decision. My friends and I decided to purchase some alcohol. We loaded up on drinks, climbed back in the vehicle, and went about our way. Did I mention I was driving the school’s vehicle and purchasing alcohol for my teammates?
The next day, I stood before the dean of the college. That foolish pitstop cost me my scholarship. With no means to support my education, I had to leave school and could not graduate.
I married my sweetheart and enlisted in the Army. We moved to Italy for my first duty assignment in 1988. My love for alcohol joined us on our journey abroad. In the years that followed, my constant drinking and alcoholic ways negatively impacted my wife and our young son. I cared only for myself and finding my next drink.
I was sent from the base in Italy to Heidelberg, Germany, to learn to operate equipment that could locate underground cables. Away from my wife and son, I spent my time drinking and carousing with the other GIs.
It rained heavily on the eight-hour drive back home, but that didn’t stop me from taking full advantage of the lack of speed restrictions on those winding European roads. Suddenly, as I prepared for a turn, I heard a loud voice say, “Rob, you need to slow down.”
It was the loudest and clearest voice I had ever heard. It was as if someone were in the car with me. I shook my head and kept speeding, driving more than 100 mph. Then, I heard the voice again. “Slow down!”
Startled, I decelerated and put my hands on the wheel just as the vehicle hit a pocket of water and hydroplaned. Thankfully, I did not lose control.
The whole encounter shook me to the core. Where had that voice come from? Today, I recognize it as the voice of God. I’ve often wondered what would’ve happened if I hadn’t listened. I’m not sure I’d be alive.
Much later, I also realized that God was warning me to slow down on the highway of life. I was speeding toward danger and testing the limits without regard for the consequences.
It took a terrible life crash before I realized that I was living out Ephesians 4:18–19: “Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity” (NLT).
Living for my lustful pleasures led me to a less-than-honorable discharge from the Army for drugs. I was sent back to Maryland. My wife and son, however, went to South Carolina. And that’s when I met and quickly became a slave to crack cocaine.
“You become the slave of whatever you choose to obey,” Romans 6:16 explains. “You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living” (NLT).
I obeyed the demands of my addiction faithfully, doing whatever I needed to obtain my next fix, paying no regard for anything or anyone else. It didn’t help that I had a hot temper and loved a good brawl.
One night, a drug altercation turned into a mob fight. Threats and accusations flew back and forth as those of us involved sat in jail. I remember looking at the man across the cell who was threatening me and thinking, You have no idea who you’re messing with. I don’t care about you or myself or this life.
My heart had become so darkened by sin that my mind was completely depraved (Romans 1). But if I was aware, I didn’t care. To prove it, a few weeks later, I bludgeoned a 28-year-old man to death. I will forever be sorry for the sin I committed that day. It’s true—sin will take you further than you want to go and cost you more than you want to pay.
I went on the run to avoid arrest. I hitchhiked, walked, and ran from Seneca, South Carolina, to Livonia, Georgia. But three weeks later, I was apprehended in a random traffic stop. After running my name in the system, the officer made the arrest. Four months later, I was sentenced to 20 years to life in South Carolina’s McCormick Correctional Institution.
No one could believe that I had committed such a heinous crime. I had been such a happy-go-lucky kid. How had I become a man of such hate and violence?
My family, especially my mom and sisters, were devastated. I had caused them, as well as my wife and son, so much pain. I signed away my paternal rights so that they wouldn’t have to identify with me—a ruined and broken man.
Ezekiel 33:11 says, “As surely as I live, says the Sovereign Lord, I take no pleasure in the death of wicked people. I only want them to turn from their wicked ways so they can live. Turn! Turn from your wickedness” (NLT).
My sentencing judge had told me to spend my time behind bars reading a book a week and the Bible every night. It took me two years, but I finally started reading the Bible for 15 minutes a day at 6 a.m. When I did, something interesting happened—I didn’t want to fight anymore. I also began reading a daily devotional given to me by a student I tutored in the literacy program.
At first, I didn’t want to read The Daily Bread, but he kept bringing the pocket-sized publications to me. Finally, I gave way. Renewing my mind with those daily seeds of truth transformed my heart and mind (Romans 12:2).
Soon after, I began attending chapel. Sitting under the teaching of God’s Word impacted my life significantly. I could sense God drawing me to Himself, just as John 6:44 says.
I fully surrendered to God after hearing a loud, wild preacher in the prison chapel. This powerful evangelist preached the Word with fire and passion, and listening to him stirred something deep down in my heart.
After the service and roll call, I hurried back to my bunk, knelt, and prayed. I bowed my heart before God Almighty and surrendered my broken life to Him. I didn’t feel some miraculous touch or power at that moment, but my heart instantly felt clean and calm. I had peace for the first time. I know it is because Jesus, the Prince of Peace, has taken residence inside me.
That was in June 1996. The following day, I went to the prison yard and saw a group of Christians. A light glowed around them, and I was drawn their way instead of toward my usual crowd of sinners.
My friend Terry began teaching me about following Jesus. The more I learned, the more I hungered and thirsted for the Word of God. I couldn’t get enough of it. I memorized Scripture and began teaching what I learned to others.
Over the years, I noticed how often people returned to prison after being released. It was sad to see how many cycled in and out. A few of my Christian brothers and I decided to start Jumpstart Ministry to help the men around us prepare for reentry into society.
Jumpstart is a 40-week discipleship program based on Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life. Through the study, we help people discover their identity in Christ, as we know the only way they can experience a purpose-filled life and stay out of prison is through Christ’s strength (Philippians 4:13) and the support of others. The ministry works with organizations to help newly released people find housing and jobs. It brought me great joy to help others find freedom on the outside through Christ. Less than 4 percent of people who go through Jumpstart recidivate.
On June 9, 2014, after 20 years of incarceration, I was granted parole and released from prison. It was a happy day. Jumpstart helped me secure transitional housing and a job and to acclimate to life on the outside. Today, I serve as the Director of Mission Advancement of Jumpstart in North Carolina.
A few years after my release, I met an old friend from school and started a long-distance relationship. Helen, a mighty woman of God, loved me like Christ. She saw the new man I had become (2 Corinthians 5:17), not the man I had been.
A few years later, we were married, and not long after, we launched a ministry called No Limits to help the hopeless discover hope. My heart is especially drawn to the incarcerated. I want every incarcerated man and woman to know that God has a plan for their lives (Jeremiah 29:11). No matter what—God loves them and wants to give them the hope of a new life.
There are no limits with God (Jeremiah 32:17), and nothing is too hard for Him. God is bigger than all our past mistakes. I am living proof. God transformed my wreck of a life into something beautiful. And if He can do it for me, He can do it for you.
But before He can do that, you’ll need to slow down and surrender the keys of your life to Him. You can’t keep driving hard and fast down the dangerous road you are currently on. Quit testing the limits. Trust me, there’s a crash waiting for you ahead.
Save yourself and others the pain of yet another poor decision. Bow your knee and heart to the Lord today. Let the presence of His love and the power of His truth bring peace into your heart and mind.
You can be a man or woman of hope!
Rob Whitner is the founder and lead pastor of No Limits Ministry in Goldsboro, North Carolina. His passion is connecting people to God and each other. He also serves as the Director of Ministry Advancement for Jumpstart Ministry. To connect with Jumpstart or to bring a chapter to your facility, visit jumpstartvision.org.
