Finding Your Eternal Value

I realized recently that I’ve been hoarding some material things in my shed that are no longer useful to me. In light of that revelation, I decided it was time to clean it out.

One of the most interesting objects I stumbled upon was my 1973 Academy of Country Music Award. Our band, Brush Arbor, won Best Vocal Group that year, along with another award for Touring Band of the Year. The two trophies went to our manager at the time, while the six members of the band went home empty handed. A year or so later, he presented each of us with a copy of the award.

For years, I’d kept that trophy in a protective case. I’d displayed it proudly in my living room. It had meant a lot to me. Yet now, it was lying unprotected in a box, with smudges and scratches on what used to be a shiny, polished surface. It’s funny how our values change over time.

For much of my life, I thrived on presenting myself with impressive credentials like,  “Academy of Country Music Award Winner!” “Toured with Johnny Cash!” “Appeared on the Grand Ole Opry!” “Worked onstage in Las Vegas!” Hearing those things made me feel important. And for some reason, they seemed to make other people think I was important too.

Today, however, I live in a one-room studio apartment right down the street from the Family Dollar in a small town with four stoplights, far from the attention and bright lights I’d craved.

I used to thrive on performance and recognition. My only goal was to be a country music star. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but anyone aspiring world fame for their own glory will find themselves headed to a dead-end life. I know. I lost everything I valued, all for the “glory” of my addiction to booze and low self-esteem.

But in that loss, I found something else that will never lose its value: I found Jesus.

These days, I understand how unimportant all those things are apart from knowing Christ. Like Paul says in Philippians 3:8: “Everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ.”

When I turned my focus to Him, listened for His voice, and gave my musical talents to Him, I found living hope. I found a life of purpose. I found salvation and love that can never be taken away.

I no longer stand on large stages or travel the world. I live alone now; I even lost my little dog last year and my phone seldom rings. My stage is usually a prison yard or chapel.

The fast life with all that stuff I thought was important is far behind me, and I’m glad because now my life has eternal purpose. When I surrendered my musical talents to God and sought to use them for His glory, He gave me a front-row seat to seeing lives change from despair to hope… from death to life. There’s nothing greater.

Today, my desire is that I’ll live a life of faith that only seeks God’s approval, so that when the time comes and I enter heaven’s gates, He will greet me with these words: “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!” (Matthew 25:23).

Maybe you’re like me and you’ve valued the things of this world over eternal things like knowing God. Maybe you’ve even got a shed full of stuff to prove it. Let’s empty our sheds and let go of our past. Let’s get to know Jesus. He is the only thing worth holding on to. †

Hold Out Your Hand

It was my senior year at East Carolina University. I was on my way back to my apartment after spending the weekend with my family. The trip had started off like every other drive home, but a few minutes into my journey, something within me drastically changed.

I didn’t understand it then, but I was under spiritual attack. It came without warning or reason.

Satan, the father of lies, began pouring powerful thoughts of inadequacy and loneliness into my mind. I had experienced these thoughts before, but as I drove, I mulled over the emotions. I allowed the negative thoughts to find root in my heart, and they spread through me like wildfire.

Before I knew it, all I could think about was how easy it would be to end my own life. Me! A God-girl who’d been baptized at the age of nine, who serves in the church and loves the Lord, who’s blessed with amazing friends and family.

But that day, I remember thinking how quickly my life could be over if I drove off the road or what would happen if I placed a handgun to my chest and pulled the trigger. I was overwhelmed. The darkness that was engulfing me was too much for me to handle on my own. I couldn’t speak; I didn’t have any words to say.

The last stoplight before my apartment caught me, and I sat there, completely brokenhearted. I had nothing left in me with which to fight. And then, my Friend took hold of my hand. He smiled at me. It was Jesus. As the image of Christ filled my heart and my mind’s eyes, I burst into tears. A flood of His compassionate grace and love poured over me like a mighty waterfall.

I’m thankful for long red lights, because in those few minutes, Jesus saved my life again. The fear left me, and the loneliness dissipated as I remembered that Jesus is always beside me. He’d promised never to leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5), and there He was, beside me. I am exceedingly thankful that He did not leave me that day.

This brief moment of darkness is not unique to me. So many people, believers and nonbelievers alike, have had moments like this. Inexplicable. Unexpected. Overwhelming. Those who know me personally would never suspect that such mental and emotional darkness would be part of my life. But no one is exempt from hardship or temptation, not even you who are reading this. If you’re experiencing feelings like these, please get the assistance you need. There is no shame in asking for help.

In a matter of seconds, Satan can trap any one of us in a lie that grips, suffocates, and destroys. But God’s grace is greater than all the sin and darkness in this world. He is the God who saves me every day of my life. He holds my hand when I feel broken beyond repair. And He will hold your hand and your heart too, whether you’re stopped at a red light, huddled on your couch, in a hospital, or in a prison. God is always faithful. Turn your life over to Him each day; He will shower you with love and mercy.

Hold out your hand to Him and receive all that He has for you. †

God Will Help You

I am only 12 years old, but I know that God loves and cares for me. When I was little, He kept me alive through some scary surgeries on my stomach and my heart. He helped my mom and dad care for me. Today, He helps me in school. Sometimes school is hard, and I want to quit. But God always helps me face hard things.

I had my first heart surgery when I was two and another when I was four. I don’t remember much about them—just my mom telling me everything was going to be okay. The surgeries left some big scars on my body, but I kind of like them. They’re my life tattoos! They have a great story, and people ask me about them a lot. When they do, I get to tell them about how God has helped me and my family through some hard stuff.

Plus, they show other kids who are facing heart surgeries that I understand what they’re going through. I get to help them prepare for their surgeries by showing them my scars and telling them it’s going to be okay, that they’ll get better, and that God will help them. They believe me because I’ve been through what they’re going through.

My scars have great purpose, and I want to use them to glorify God and to help others.

I like Matthew 20:28. It reminds me that Jesus didn’t come into the world to be served but to serve. Every day, I have opportunities to help other people. I can do that anywhere—at school, in the classroom, on the playground, or even in the hospital.

One of my favorite ways to help others is through a watersports ministry called In His Wakes. Years ago, Mrs. Kristi Overton Johnson, the founder of this ministry, taught me to water ski. I was so excited! Now I get to travel with my family as part of the In His Wakes team. I’ve helped hundreds of kids experience victory on the water and meet Jesus! It’s so much fun. And seeing me out there on my skis, even with my scars, helps them let go of their fear and get out on the water themselves.

The first time I skied, I was pretty scared of all the waves and bumpy water. But I trusted Mrs. Kristi to help me. I’d watched her teach the other kids, so I knew if I listened and stayed close, she’d keep me safe and wouldn’t let me fall.

That makes me think about life. Everybody has bumpy water sometime, but just like Mrs. Kristi was beside me, encouraging me and helping me know what to do, God is with us. If we listen to Him, He’ll help us through bumps—the big ones and the little ones—and we won’t fall.

When I face bumpy water in life, I do it with God and my parents, so I don’t have to be afraid. You don’t have to be afraid either. Isaiah 43:2 promises that God is with us when we go through difficult stuff. He won’t let the bumpy water win.

Life is scary; I know. I’ve been scared too. But you don’t have to let fear stop you. God’s got you. And you know what? Even if you come out of the water with some nasty scars, if you’re willing, God will use them in amazing ways.

Besides, if you ask me, scars are cool!

What Do I Know To Be True About God

I don’t remember where the question came from, but it’s one that I return to often. In fact, I keep a reminder of it on my workspace, and as it catches my eye throughout the day, I ask myself: What do I know to be true about God today? Some days, I struggle to find adequate words, but other days the answer is immediate, reassuring, even convicting. It’s an answer that’s different every time I ask the question, because I’m looking to somehow quantify the ever-changing relevance of a never-changing God.

So—what do I know to be true about God today? On its face, it’s a simple question. I know all kinds of truths about God—I find them in His Word; I find them in His dealings with me. But when I look deeper at this question, it can touch my heart. It can draw me closer to Him, because the well of truths that I know about Him is deep. It contains living water. It changes to fit my needs.

When I’m struggling to feel worthy, I know that He loves me, no matter what.

When I’m worried about the future, I know that He holds my life, the world, time, the very essence of existence, in His infinitely capable hands.

When I’m happy, I know He rejoices with me. When I’m sad, I know He cares.

When I’ve strayed from His path, I know He pursues me even as I walk away.

When I stubbornly insist on doing things my way, I know He’ll gently correct me.

He is love. He is strength. He is patience. He is truth. He is wisdom. He is my provision. He is my source of life. He is my refuge, my hiding place. He is my redeemer. He is my Savior. He is my God.

What more do I need?

Try a Little Kindness

Many years ago, our son began making bad choices. He was still living at home, so my husband and I made sure he knew his actions were unacceptable. But instead of changing his ways, he moved out. He wanted to show us he was old enough to make his own decisions.

We were crushed. We had tried to be faithful in serving God and providing well for our three sons and daughter. We had never experienced such outright rebellion before. My husband and I tried many things to get him back on track. We took his car from him. We tried to guilt him into coming back home and doing what was right. Nothing worked.

I have always prayed for my children, but this time, I knew I needed to seek the Lord more diligently. I needed His wisdom; we obviously weren’t making any headway with ours. I prayed. I cried. I poured out my broken heart to Jesus. He graciously answered, but not with the words I expected. I heard, “Just try a little kindness.” Be kind to our son who was acting so rebelliously and selfishly? That just seemed wrong. And I told the Lord that! But God’s ways are always higher than ours.

In the end, I obeyed the Lord. I knew that only He knew how to return our son to the respectful, well mannered, and godly young man we knew him to be.

Returning his car was the first act of kindness the Lord led us to do. Then, He told me to take him shopping. What?! Yes, I was to be kind and treat him as if he were the best son ever.

Several months went by without much change in him—but I was changing. I was more at peace, and I had more compassion for my son. I learned to trust God more as He showed me that our son needed kindness as he charted his own path through this world’s stormy waters.

So I continued to be kind. I tried to be more compassionate and considerate, generous and thoughtful, as well as patient and gentle. And then it happened. Our son asked to come home, and he promised to do things the right way.

That night, with deep, godly sorrow, he apologized for mistreating us. It was a wonderful night, to say the least—a true answer to our prayers. And it never would have happened if we hadn’t obeyed the Lord and been kind to our rebellious son.

Only the Lord knew what was needed to change our son’s heart and to bring him back home.

As the director of the Victorious Living Prison Correspondence Outreach, I have found that many of the inmates who write to us have never experienced the kindness of God through the actions of their parents. In fact, some have never experienced it  all, from anyone. This breaks my heart.

The Bible talks a lot about kindness. Psalm 117:2 says that God’s loving kindness is great toward us. Psalm 36:7 tells us it is precious; that it provides us a place of refuge. So many see God as an angry Being, full of wrath, eager to punish us for the least little thing. But that is not our heavenly Father. God longs to pour out His kindness on both the just and the unjust.

The Bible also tells us that we, as believers, should show God’s loving-kindness to others—yes, even when they don’t deserve it. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Unless we understand how kind God is toward us, it will be difficult to extend undeserved kindness to others. But once we do, amazing things happen.

The kindness we extended to our son brought him to repentance, changed his ways, and brought him home. Today, he is serving the Lord in amazing ways.

According to Romans 2:4, God’s kindness is meant to lead us to repentance. Repentance is birthed from the presence of God in the heart of an individual. People come to realize they need to repent (change their ways) as they meet the kindness of God on a daily basis.

Second Corinthians 7:10 (NIV) says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” I prayed for godly sorrow to invade my son’s heart and bring him to repentance. God used our kindness to change our son’s heart, to lead him to express sorrow before God, and to take responsibility for his actions. Our goodness toward him showed him the goodness of God.

Every one of us has opportunity to show God’s loving-kindness to undeserving people, just like God does for us. Trust in His loving-kindness. Let it change you and help you forgive those who have been unkind to you.

Kindness is what this world needs. This world would be a different place if we just tried a little kindness instead of always demanding our own way, seeking revenge, forcing people to do things our way, and punishing them when they don’t.

Next time you face a difficult person or situation, try pouring on the kindness. You might be surprised at how your situation changes over time. You can make a difference in the lives of others as you treat them the way God intends—the same way He has treated you. †

Overcome Loneliness

I know that as a prisoner, separated from the world I once knew, it’s easy to fall into feelings of loneliness. I can be surrounded by hundreds of people all day long, even interact with many of them, but still feel alone. Have you ever felt that way?

So how can we change or deal with these feelings? I believe the best way to approach this subject is to start with looking at what will not help. Once we understand that, it’s easier to see what will help.

Often when we’re lonely, we turn to activities and relationships to fill the void. Those things may temporarily alleviate loneliness, but when we use them to combat a greater problem, it’s like putting a Band-Aid on a deep wound. It might cover the wound, but it won’t help it heal. Lonely feelings are spiritual and are deeply rooted.

Loneliness is like a rubber band. You can stretch one, but as soon as you let it go, it snaps right back to what it was originally. Likewise, we can fill our lives with busyness and superficial relationships and find some temporary relief, but once we stop being busy or that relationship no longer exists, we snap right back to those feelings.

Loneliness will never be solved with substitution; we must address the emptiness.

Simply said, nothing on earth—not money, sex, drugs, careers, athletics, people, or anything else—can give you peace and fill the void in you that leads to loneliness.

The world says humanistic psychology or therapy will do it, but it won’t. Someone once said, “There’s a hole in our soul so big that only God can fill it.” Only God can cure our feelings of loneliness, and when He does, we realize that we were never alone.

So how do we overcome our loneliness through God? We draw near to Him. When we do, He draws near to us (James 4:8). We start believing what He says in His Word, that He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). That means, wherever we are, He is!

If Jesus loved us enough to leave the glory and splendor of heaven to come to earth to die in our place, isn’t that proof of how far He is willing to go in His love for us? Proverbs 18:24 NIV says, “there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” and that friend is Jesus.

Whether you are in an actual prison or a virtual one brought about through feelings of loneliness and depression, let the “God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope” (Romans 15:13 NIV). If there’s one thing I’ve learned along this journey of many years in prison, it’s that we are never alone; Jesus longs to comfort and strengthen us.

Draw close to Him today through prayer—through simple conversation with the God who loves you. Let Him fill that void as He draws you close to Himself. There is no loneliness in His presence. †

The Gift of Forgiveness

DORI: It was the call no mother ever wants to receive. I had just left a business luncheon and was sitting in a Starbucks drive-thru. My mind was on my son,  Robby, and I asked God to bless him and let him know that He was there for him. My phone rang; Robby’s number showed up.

“Hi, Robby!” I said. Silence met me. Then Robby’s friend, Kate, began to speak.

“Oh! Hi, Kate,” I responded. “How are you?” More silence. “Kate, are you okay? Is Robby okay?”

“No,” she replied. “Robby… Robby’s dead.”

It’s hard to put into words the depth of my pain in that moment. All I could do was scream out, “No! Robby! No! Please, come back! Oh God, help me!” I got out of the drive-thru and headed back to the office. It’s the only place I could think of to go.

Alone in my office, I screamed and wailed; I pounded my feet on the floor and my fists on the desk. My office neighbor ran in, thinking I was being attacked. I told her what had happened, and she held my hand and sat with me while we waited for my husband, Gene, to arrive.

GENE: When I got there, Dori was shaking violently. We held each other tightly and sobbed. Together, we cried out to God, begging Him for answers. We asked for strength and for Him to help our other son, Ben.

We found solace in the truth that Robby was safe and whole in God’s presence. Robby had indicated numerous times over the years that he believed in Jesus Christ and had trusted in Him for eternal salvation. Robby had learned at an early age that Jesus had died on the cross to pay for his sins, was buried, and rose again to prove that His payment was a satisfactory one. Robby had accepted God’s free gift of salvation, and according to the Bible, that meant he was now in heaven. His struggle with pain and depression was behind him.

We also found solace in the truth that God cares for us. No matter how painful this situation was, Dori and I knew God was with us and was hearing our cries for help.

DORI: While Gene and I were still at the office, Kate called again. She said Robby had been murdered and that we could go online and read about it. The article I found only added to my pain. It left me with so many questions. Why would anyone kill Robby? And who?

We learned that Robby had died by strangulation two days earlier. To think that he had been dead for two days was incredible! The article reported that a woman named Lindsay was involved, and that she had a 14-year-old child.

Gene and I were surprised to feel concern for this woman— our son’s murderer. We found ourselves praying for her, her son, and her mother. Only God could have placed this compassion in our hearts for her.

I was numb and had no idea what to do. I didn’t know what I wanted, much less what I needed. Dear friends surrounded us. We were so grateful for their prayers and support. The pain in my heart, the longing for my son—it was all more than I could have borne on my own.

Three days later, Gene and I held a private ceremony for Robby. We listed the names of everyone we could think of that we might need to forgive regarding Robby’s death. The list included those we believed were partly responsible for his path of destruction. Our own names were on this list, as we were blaming ourselves and asking what we could have done differently. And Lindsay’s name was there too.

I forgave Lindsay and others, but my pain remained. My sadness ran so deep; I cried for months. Sometimes I wondered if I would ever be okay again, but then I’d remember that with God’s help, I had overcome every trial I had faced so far. That gave me hope that, while I wasn’t okay right now, one day I would be.

Months later, I shared with my church family the depth of my sadness and asked for prayer. As our pastor prayed, my friends surrounded me with their loving arms. A few days later, I realized my daily crying had stopped. My sadness had lifted, and I felt lighter. I praised God for answered prayer and thanked Him for the love and care of my family in Christ.

I tried many times to write Lindsay a letter, but the words wouldn’t come. Gene, however, had found the strength to write to her. He mailed his letter 10 months after Robby’s death.

GENE: I had forgiven Lindsay, but it wasn’t until her case was complete and she had settled into a more permanent place in prison that I felt I should write to her. She had accepted a plea bargain and agreed to a 60-year sentence. She would be eligible to appear before a parole board after serving 25 percent (15 years) of her sentence.

Until my letter, we were not sure if she knew we existed. Dori and I had had no contact with her; we had not wished to influence her sentencing either way.

In my letter, I told Lindsay that Dori and I had forgiven her. As believers in Jesus Christ, we knew we were supposed to forgive anyone who has hurt us. Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Furthermore, we’d been forgiven by our Savior countless times for countless sins. How could we not forgive her? So many people want to celebrate God’s forgiveness, yet refuse to forgive others. We didn’t want to be so selfish.

It wasn’t easy, but it was the best decision we could have made. Harboring unforgiveness would have been like pouring our enemy a cup of poison and drinking it ourselves. Forgiving Lindsay would free us to live again. In my letter, I also shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with her. The only way Lindsay’s life could be transformed would be through the love and power of God.

Interestingly, Dori and I had been involved with prison ministry for years. Seems God had already been preparing our hearts to love Lindsay by allowing us a perspective of prison most people never see. Lindsay responded to my letter with great remorse and humble gratefulness. Her letter touched Dori and me as only God could cause.

DORI: After I read Lindsay’s response to Gene’s letter, I decided it was time I wrote to her, too.     Here is part of what I said:

Dear Lindsay,

I have wanted to write you for a while, but I just haven’t known what to say. I’ve wanted to ask you all kinds of questions, starting with, “Why would you kill my son?”

After reading your statement in Gene’s letter that you loved Robby, I wanted to yell, “If you loved him, why did you kill him?!” But I knew there are no good answers that would satisfy me. I am glad you are now getting the help you need.

When I learned you were being sentenced to 60 years in prison, my heart sank for you, your son, and your mom. While I have the feelings I stated above, I do not wish for you to live in prison the rest of your life. I do not wish for you to be locked away and removed from society. I care about you, Lindsay, and I ask God to bless you and help you to know Him and have a relationship with Him. I pray you will grow to be a light on the prison compound that will lead others to the Lord.

I forgive you, Lindsay. I forgive you! And Jesus will forgive you, too. He loves you and paid for your sin of murdering Robby. He has paid for all of your sins, just as He has paid for all of mine. I need Jesus just as badly as you do. I would be lost without Him. But since my trust is in Him and Him only, I am forever saved and free.

I wanted Lindsay to know that she could be forever saved and free too.

Lindsay quickly responded to my letter, expressing sorrow over taking Robby’s life. Nothing she said, of course, would bring Robby back or satisfy my longing for him. That has only lessened because I know he is with Jesus. I have faith that I will see Robby again. Because of Jesus, my son is okay, and I am grateful for that.

LINDSAY: When I received that first letter from Gene, I had no idea who he was. But as I began to read, I quickly realized it was from Robby’s stepfather. I didn’t know what to expect! The guilt that had been my constant companion since that fateful day welled up again in my soul. I kept reading, however, and came across the most incredible words I’ve ever read. Gene said, “I want you to know that I have forgiven you.”

This was almost too good to be true. The letter even said that Robby’s mom, Dori, wanted to write me! I wanted to believe it, but I was afraid to. How could it be true after what I’d done to this family?

I wrote back and sincerely offered my apology and gratitude, hoping that the forgiveness being offered was real. Gene had also included some gospel tracts in the envelope, telling me about Jesus. I read them but was not ready to receive them as truth at the time.

In September 2016, I received my first letter from Dori. It blew me away. I couldn’t mistake the ache of this mother’s loss and the question of why, but above all, I heard the wonderful faith and hope she had that she would see her son again in heaven. She knew this because Robby had told her that his faith was in Jesus Christ alone to be his Savior. Dori also expressed forgiveness toward me and told me about the forgiveness Jesus offers me.

I didn’t deserve this. Even now, I find myself speechless. I had hurt this woman so deeply,  yet she cared enough to share eternal life with me and to close her letter with the words, “God bless you.” She helped me see and experience God’s unconditional love. It caused me to realize the realness of God. There was no way human beings could forgive such a great offense in their own strength. It had to be from God.

Their gift of love and forgiveness came at the lowest point of my life. I was lost and alone, filled with regret and hopelessness. I was 32, facing a 60-year prison sentence. The guilt of my actions, the harsh realities of prison life, and the consequences of my choices were all around me. I was a murderer— nothing could justify what I had done. It didn’t matter that Robby and I had been on the same road of destruction or that alcohol had clouded both our minds. There was no one to blame but myself.

I couldn’t imagine anything but hopelessness as my destiny. But then God reached down from heaven and, through the love of the Greesons, revealed hope for my dead-end life. Jesus Christ had redeemed my mistakes through the shedding of His blood. And through Jesus’s blood, God was offering me forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace (Ephesians 1:7). I received God’s gift of forgiveness for myself, and in Jesus I found hope.

Jesus said, “whoever hears my word and believes in him who sent me has eternal life, and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life” (John 5:24 NIV). My acceptance of Jesus’s love and sacrifice caused me to pass from death into life. I have hope for my eternal future—and for my life, even now, while behind bars.

DORI: For four years now, God has been working out for good the horribly wrong and tragic murder of my son, just as He promised in Romans 8:28. As Psalm 34:18 says, “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted,” and He has been here for us.

It’s hard for some to comprehend our forgiving Lindsay. What they don’t realize is that doing so set Gene and me free from despair and enabled us to be healed. Forgiving Lindsay was a gift for us too. It allowed us to experience God’s great joy and peace, and the good things He has in store for us.

When Gene and I reached out to Lindsay, we didn’t know how God would work in our lives. How could we have imagined that she’d become like a daughter to us or that we’d travel 2,300 miles to visit her in prison? And how could we have imagined that God would use her to bring so many other people into His kingdom?

We would’ve missed out on so much, had we held onto our hurt. Not only that, my own life would have been destroyed. Without forgiveness, I would be bitter, angry, and resentful, living in constant pain and emotional turmoil. And that ugliness in me would have overtaken and destroyed everyone around me (Hebrews 12:15). God’s gift of forgiveness has freed us all to live fruitful,  joy-filled lives, even in this most difficult season.

GENE: It’s amazing to see how God has transformed our lives. For example, Lindsay, who, at the time she killed Robby, would’ve claimed to be an atheist, has been transformed into a most dedicated Christian. She’s becoming a giant in the faith. We are proud to know her and are grateful for the privilege of being part of her faith journey. God surely answered Dori’s prayer for Lindsay’s life!

LINDSAY: When I think back on life prior to receiving that first letter from Gene, I’m blown away by how my outlook, my plans, my hopes, and even my memories have changed; all for the better. I have a real purpose in life now, to share my story—our story—so that the good news of God’s forgiveness in Christ can reach as many people as possible. So they, too, can be free.

Being forgiven doesn’t make what I did acceptable, nor does it take away the pain I caused, but it does allow God to use me for His great purpose. In His grace, I am now leading those around me to Jesus. He’s using the evil I’ve done for  His good. Robby’s life lives on, all  for God’s glory. I’m so thankful for the grace of God and for the Greesons’ love.

DORI: Gene, Lindsay, and I want everyone who reads our story to experience God’s gift of forgiveness. We all need it, because we’ve all sinned; we all fall short of God’s perfect standard (Romans 3:23). Some sin is obvious to the world, like Lindsay’s. Other sins are often overlooked—like pride, greed, envy, unbelief, and yes, even not forgiving someone.

The good news is that God’s gift of forgiveness and eternal salvation is available to everyone, no matter what we’ve done (John 3:16). And it’s free. There’s nothing any of us can do to deserve it (Ephesians 2:8–9). Jesus lived a perfect life and then died a horrible death to provide forgiveness to us. And all we have to do to receive that forgiveness is believe.

Once we receive God’s gift of forgiveness, we can extend it to others, even those who have deeply hurt us. And that, my friend, is the greatest gift we can give, both to ourselves and to those around us.

God’s grace and forgiveness enable us to move forward, no matter what. †

A Battle Won

I lost my little brother recently. We had a mutual admiration for each other and our life stories. They’re stories so painful, only family could see the humor in them. We shared our faith and our hidden fears. Better yet, we shared our future dreams of ministry and becoming entrepreneurs. 

When our family lost Vlad, we lost a piece of the Katynski puzzle. There is no way to place a Band-Aid over this wound. We can only expose it and let light shine into the darkness and bring healing. 

I never realized how much of a home this water-loving, blue-eyed, wonder-filled boy had made in my heart until he was gone. His infectious smile could win over the hardest of hearts. He always held space for those he loved. 

Inside of Vlad was strength, light, and laughter that lit up his eyes, even in his darkest moments. But sharing that light with others only to have it rejected was too much for Vlad to bear, so he built walls of protection for himself. 

With Vlad there was no room for a mask; he always exposed the truth. He didn’t allow relationships to remain on the surface with those he loved. And he had no capacity to fake what he was feeling. He wasn’t afraid to speak up and speak out when he felt strongly about something. For that, I am eternally grateful. 

But Vlad also had a way of making a room feel lighter. At his funeral, I smiled as I imagined him saying, “Stop crying! I’m home. I’m at peace. The wakeboarding up here is unreal, and Jesus is the coolest!” 

I came to know my baby brother as a close friend while he was in jail. Those 15-minute collect calls he made to me from behind bars challenged me more in my faith and my understanding of God’s goodness than any church service or conference ever has. He helped me experience the authenticity of Jesus through a whole new lens. 

Vlad showed me it was okay to cry out to God, to ask Him questions like, “Why? Where were You? How could this happen?” 

Vlad had many questions as he battled earthly addictions that led him down a difficult road. I believe these battles stemmed from his troubled upbringing. He was born and raised by a Russian heroin addict until the age of 8, then lived in a Russian orphanage for a couple of years before he came to America, where he faced unimaginable trauma prior to being adopted by my parents. 

When Vlad was 10, God brought him and another remarkable young Russian boy, Kola, into our family. My parents adopted and loved these boys as their sons, and my three sisters and I loved them as our brothers. But we were all unprepared for the depth of brokenness Vlad harbored within. 

I watched for years as my brother, whom I loved like blood, wrestled with battles from which he longed to be free. Drugs, alcohol, and mental illness took him down many dark roads. Local jails and rehab facilities became his regular place of residence, instead of a home with loved ones who longed for his return with open arms and hope-filled hearts. We prayed relentlessly that he would find healing for the wounds that he was using drugs to numb. 

Vlad was as deep as the ocean, but his brokenness was deeper. He fought the pain of his past with numbing agents that had no intention of letting him go. His wasn’t just a physical battle; it was spiritual torment. On occasion, Vlad would give me a glance into his pain. When he did, I listened, whether it was face to face or during those calls from jail. I was hopeful yet heartbroken as I listened to my little brother bare his soul. I felt the weight of his brokenness and the yearning for freedom he so desperately wanted.

Vlad was loving, hilarious, and goofy, the life and depth of the party. Yet he thought he was invincible. He believed he could take on the battles of this world in his own might, never once considering that his battles might overpower him and take with them pieces of the hearts of those who loved him most.

I know for certain Vlad accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior, and I believe that when he passed from this life, heaven gained a beautiful soul. However, I also know Vlad did not fully grasp the truth that Jesus could free him from his earthly battles. Neither did he surround himself with people who wanted God’s purpose for his life. My brother needed people who would help him fight the demons of addiction; instead, he surrounded himself with people who took him down. He tried to save himself, but by the end, he was too strung out and exhausted from the fight. 

As he was leaving our home one day, he told me, “I know I’ve put this whole family through hell.” I replied, “We’d do it all over again for you, Vlad.” Then we said our goodbyes—which always included an “I love you!”—and he walked out the door. I did not know that would be the last time I would see my brother or hear his voice this side of heaven. 

Three days before Christmas of 2018, 12 nanograms of fentanyl stole the life of my brother. He was 22. As I delicately picked up his urn, I was shocked by the unexpected weight of his ashes and the heavier loss of his absence. 

As his sister, I don’t want Vlad’s life to be in vain. I believe we can all learn from it. His life has inspired me to take a deeper look into my own life. It’s challenged me to allow people to help me in my times of weakness; to allow them the opportunity to help carry the weight of my burdens so I am not overcome by them. It’s challenged me to remove the people and things from my life that hurt me and replace them with life-giving people and activities that move me toward the plans God has for me. 

I pray Vlad’s story will challenge you to do the same. Maybe like Vlad, you are in a battle. I believe each of us have specific susceptibilities—some more than others. These struggles may be spiritual, genetic, or self-imposed. But no matter the source, God’s Word tells us how to fight. 

Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out (Ephesians 6:13–18 MSG). 

We don’t get to choose the battles we face, but we can choose how we respond and who will help us through them. If we choose to fight with God by our side and surround ourselves with life-giving people, we can conquer any battle. 

Maybe you’re thinking it’s too late for you. I’m here to tell you, if there is still blood pumping through your veins, there’s hope! You can win any battle with Jesus. He is on your side and ready to go to war for you. He’s just waiting for you to take a step of faith toward Him, to ask for His help, and to hand Him your battles. 

As I grieve the loss of my brother, I look toward the certainty of a heavenly reunion with Vlad in our true home. In the meantime, I will remember him when I am on the waves, as they remind me of his love for the water and wakeboarding. I will see his reflection in the smile of our nephews, because “Uncle Glad” was always up for one last Nerf battle. I will celebrate him in prayer because he was always willing to receive them. And I will feel the nearness of his presence in those he loved.

When You Can’t See Why

 As I sat in line at the drive thru, I noticed what seemed to be a father, walking through the parking lot with his adult son. They were walking at a normal pace, but very close to each other. In fact,  the father had his arm around his son. As they got closer, I realized the son was blind. I watched as the father walked his son through the parking lot and around to their car. He slid open the door of the minivan, then helped his son climb in. I watched as the man buckled his son’s seatbelt. It was a beautiful display of love.

As I sat there, though, thinking about this, I couldn’t get over the pace at which they had walked through the parking lot. This son wasn’t timid in his steps. He wasn’t using a long white cane. All he had was his father’s arm around him, guiding him. He trusted his father to see what he couldn’t, and he walked confidently wherever his father directed.

Isn’t that a wonderful picture of what God does for us?

We know that Moses saw God as his guide because of what he said to Joshua when he turned over leadership of the Israelites. In front of the entire assembly, Moses said: “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

Moses had seen God’s faithfulness firsthand during those 40 years he and the Israelites had walked through the wilderness. Now they were about to enter the Promised Land. So much of their lives was about to change. They were getting  new leadership, a new land, and new food.

But there was one thing wouldn’t change: God would still be going before them. Just as He had physically been present in the pillars of cloud and fire, God would now go before them in the Ark of the Covenant. Life would be different, but the faithfulness of God would remain. He would always be with them and lead the way.

He promises that to us as well. Hebrews 13:5–6 says, “God has said, ‘I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.’ So we can say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?’”

With God as your guide, you can walk confidently today, even though you can’t see where you are walking. Whatever the unknown, whatever the darkness, whatever the fears, your Father’s arms are around you—He is leading, guiding, and walking with you. Do not be afraid. Do not be dismayed. The Lord is your helper. †

Love: The Right Choice

“No more ice-cream runs,” I said to my kids, Grace, Faith, and Kennedy. I wasn’t trying to be mean; it was just the responsible thing to do. I had to protect my new truck from their inevitable spills.

Our last car was so old, it hadn’t mattered as much; I’d happily risked it for the sake of  family activities. But the likelihood of a messy accident meant more now.

It was easy to stick with the new rule at first, but I soon felt selfish. I had to find a way to resume our ice-cream runs without sacrificing the condition of my truck. I decided that towels on the floor, in the seats, and in the kids’ laps would do the trick.

I had it all figured out, so the next night I surprised everyone with the magic words: “Hey, how about an ice-cream run?”

“But what about your truck, Daddy?” the kids chorused. I apologized for being selfish and told them the towels would protect the truck. And off we went.

Much to my surprise, the trip itself was spill-free. We returned home, and I pulled into the garage, quite proud. But then, as I put the truck in Park, big globs of melting ice cream came flying up from the back, sailed right between the two front bucket seats, and hit the dash.

Like an angry lion ready to pounce, I turned to confront the kids. Faith was holding her own and Kennedy’s empty cups. The expression on her face made it clear she wasn’t at fault. Kennedy was already out of his car seat and on the floor. But Grace was holding an empty cup out in front of her with a look that said, “I didn’t mean to, Daddy.”

Just as I was ready to ban ice-cream runs forever and yell at Grace for being so careless, I noticed the ice cream on the dash, oozing into the cracks around the buttons on my radio. I forgot about scolding Grace and went into full-on Operation Save My Truck mode. I had to get that melting ice cream off the radio immediately. And the only way I could think to do that was to start sucking it out.

So that’s what I did. I wrapped my lips around the buttons and started sucking with all my might. It worked too! The family looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. Grace looked more scared than ever, because now her dad was trying to eat his radio! My wife looked like she wanted to ask, “What the heck are you doing, Kenny?”

Thankfully, the distraction of those sticky dash buttons gave me time for a reality check. Slowly, truths about love from 1 Corinthians 13 began to surface.

I remembered that love is patient and kind. It isn’t proud or rude; it doesn’t demand its own way. It isn’t irritable; it keeps no record of being wronged. I remembered that love defends the truth and others without regard for itself. I was acting as though I’d never learned anything at all. I was letting fear of a sticky dash button push love right out the window.

I composed myself and asked Grace what had happened. She answered, “I was real careful, but then Kennedy did what you taught him to do. He rolled forward to get out of his car seat and did a front flip onto the floor. But when he flipped, his heel hit my cup. I’m so sorry, Daddy.”

I had a choice: I could be loving or selfish. In the end, the choice was clear. I would sacrifice my truck over my kids any day. (But I did make a new “no flipping out of the car seat on ice-cream runs” rule.)

Are you angry over an incident? Whether it’s something as silly as my truck story or something more serious, we as believers are called to act lovingly toward others. That might not be easy, and it might even cost you something. But tearing down others for the sake of anything isn’t worth the cost. Chose love. It will bring rewards far greater than a clean truck. †